There’s a trend going around inspired by the poem I Met My Younger Self for Coffee by Jennae Cecelia, sitting down with their younger selves over coffee. And I love it. It’s not just a nostalgic exercise, it’s a powerful reflection on how much we’ve grown, how far we’ve come, and the lessons we wish we had known earlier.

As Women’s Months comes to a close, I wanted to do this for myself but more importantly, for women like me – working women, immigrant moms, dreamers and doers. Women who have carried so much in their shoulders while chasing their dreams that sometimes felt too faraway.

So, if I could sit across from my younger self, coffee in hand, what would I say?

I wouldn’t tell her to be fearless.

Actually, no! I’d tell her the truth: fear will always be there. But feel it — and do it anyway. Because courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s moving forward despite it. That’s when you’ll discover what you’re capable of. That’s how confidence is built, not by waiting until you’re ready, but by taking that first step, trembling hands and all.

And then I will continue to share to her the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

I will tell her that growth comes from discomfort. She won’t always feel ready. Some of the biggest changes in her life like immigrating to a new country, switching careers, becoming a mother—will come with doubt, fear, and uncertainty. But don’t let all these stop her.

Discomfort is a sign that she is growing. Every difficult moment is shaping her into someone wiser and stronger. One day, she will look back and realize that the struggles that once made her question herself were the very things that built her resilience.

I will tell her that she doesn’t have to prove herself to anyone. She doesn’t need validation from others to know her worth. The things she does, the dreams she chases, the goals she works hard for—they should be for her or because of her, not to meet anyone else’s expectations.

There will always be people who don’t understand her journey. Some will question her choices, and others may try to impose their own definition of success on her. Let them. She doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for the life she chooses to build.

I will tell her that she cannot pour from an empty cup. She can be a giver – it’s not wrong to pour her time, energy and love into her family, career and everyone around her. But I will remind her that she too needs to be cared for. It’s not wrong to love deeply, to give selflessly, to show up for others. But make sure she leaves something for herself.

She can be everything to everyone, but if she loses herself in the process, what’s left? Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. She must take time to rest, heal, recharge and to do things that bring her joy. Prioritizing herself isn’t self fish, it is necessary. A well-nourished heart has more to give than an exhausted one.

I will tell her that motherhood is a journey, not a destination. She doesn’t have to step into motherhood thinking she has it all figured out. But I will remind her that there is no perfect way to be a mother, there will be days of doubt, exhaustion and guilt, but also moments of pure love that make everything worth it.

I will tell her that she will never stop learning as a mom. Her children will teach her as much as she teaches them. And one day, she will realize that success in motherhood isn’t about doing everything perfectly – it’s about showing up with love, patience and an open heart.

I will tell her that money is emotional, not just mathematical. She will grow up thinking money is all about numbers; earning, spending and saving. But she will learn that it’s deeper than that. Money is tied to emotions, habits, and beliefs that are often inherited.

I will tell her to be kind to herself when she makes financial mistakes, don’t be like me, I was too hard on myself because of the wrong people I trusted that affected my finances so bad. Instead of feeling ashamed, seek knowledge. Instead of fearing money, build confidence around it. One day, she’ll understand that financial security isn’t just about how much she earns and how much she has, but the peace of mind she feels and the freedom to make choices that align with her values.

I will tell her that the biggest decisions she will ever make including choosing a life partner, building a career and deciding where to build her life, they will shape the future she will wake up to every day.

When it comes to choosing a life partner, I’d tell her that love is beautiful, but love alone is not enough. Choose someone who will walk beside you, not ahead of you or behind you. Someone sees your strength, not just your softness. Someone who celebrates your wins and stands beside you in your struggles. The person you choose to be with will shape a lot of things in your life – your happiness, your confidence and even your success. Find someone who will encourage you when you doubt yourself; someone who will remind you of your worth when the world makes you question it. Choose a partner who will create a safe space for her – where she can be vulnerable, where she can grow and where she is respected and loved not for what she does but for who she is.

I will tell her that her career path will be uncertain, sometimes frustrating. There will be moments when she will wonder if she made the right choices. Changing jobs, starting over, feeling lost—it’s all part of the journey. But don’t let fear keep her stuck. The challenges will not break her, they will build her. It’s always terrifying to start over, but with determination and consistency, she will land on her feet every single time.

I will also tell her that one of the biggest decisions she’ll make is where to build her life. Whether staying close to her roots or moving across the world, where she chooses to plant herself will determine the opportunities she gets, the people she meets and the lifestyle she builds.

Moving abroad will be both exciting and heartbreaking. She will miss home, but she will also grow in ways she never imagined. And one day, she’ll realize that home is not just a place—it’s the life you create for yourself.

Lastly, I will tell her that reinvention is not a sign of failure. There will be moments when she will feel like she’s starting over— whether in her career, in her relationships or maybe her personal growth. Each time, she may wonder if she made the wrong choices. But I will tell not to look reinvention as failure. It’s a sign of courage. It means she is growing, evolving and daring to pursue something better. There is nothing wrong in changing directions; the real loss isn’t changing paths—it’s staying in places that no longer fulfill you.

If my younger self will ask me, “What does success look like?” I’d smile.

Because I used to think success was a title, a salary, a checklist of achievements. But I was wrong.

Success is waking up with peace. It’s knowing that even as you strive for more, you are grateful for what you already have.

Success is having the freedom to do what you love. To wake up excited about your life, to pursue passions that light you up, to work on something that matters to you.

Success is standing firm in your values. It’s having the integrity to choose what’s right over what’s easy.

Success is being surrounded by people who love you—not for what you can do, but simply for who you are.

Success is good health—physically, mentally, emotionally. It’s taking care of yourself, not just so you can function, but so you can truly live.

Success is having time for the things that matter. For family, for laughter, for rest. Because life isn’t just about working hard—it’s also about truly living.

And finally —

Success is being able to give without fear of running out. It’s knowing you have built enough stability, emotionally and financially, to extend your hand to others without feeling depleted.

If my younger self could hear all this, I wonder—would she believe me?

Maybe not right away. But I’d tell her: “Trust me. One day, you’ll understand.”